my apologies

Dear World,

Please accept my apologies for my recent less-than-composed behavior. It has been a rough row for me to hoe these past several days, weeks, months, years raising Calvin and dealing with the resulting significant and chronic sleep deprivation which colors my world. In trying to hold things together with Calvin's condition and limitations these past fourteen years, often the little things can, on the outside, seem most vexing.

Since Calvin’s birth, I have become someone who does not always work to conceal my true feelings in order to make life more comfortable for others. Life with a child who has such serious disabilities and chronic epilepsy has proven to be quite a hardship, so much so that I find the stresses and disappointments difficult, even unnecessary, to mask. Perhaps congeniality is paramount, but I wonder if being beholden to it above other concerns or emotions might eat me alive. Still, usually, I try. Most of the time, I hope, I am upbeat and kind.

Suffice to say I am sorry for being grumpy and curt in our recent encounters. Thank you especially for any patience and kindness you show me. It means the world.

Sincerely,

Christy

Photo by Michael Kolster