such a good mom

I thought to myself

I’d be such a good mom to a normal kid

Like the two I babysat as a teen

How I loved them so

The girl with freckles and sparkling eyes

The towheaded boy with long lashes and dimples

I think they loved me

Those two old souls

And I had enough for them both

Even though they weren’t mine


I said to myself

I’d be such a good mom to a normal kid
 
Remembering my coaching years
 

Adoring children huddled at my feet

On the warm pool deck

One or two sitting on my knee

Gazing out over blue water and churning limbs

Others braiding my hair with little hands

What extraordinary, ordinary kids

Enough love for the lot

Even though they weren’t mine


I cried to myself

I’d be such a good mom to a normal kid

Peppering bedtime stories with silly sounds

Riding bikes down the street side by side

Wind and sun in our faces

Dancing in circles to crazy happy music

Teaching him all about this beautiful universe
 
And that he should hold fast to his dreams
 
—never let them go—

Even though they might not be mine.

photo by Michael Kolster