ecosphere of kindness

And I don't accept subtractive models of love, only additive ones. And I believe that in the same way that we need species diversity to ensure that the planet can go on, so we need this diversity of affection and diversity of family in order to strengthen the ecosphere of kindness.

—Andrew Solomon, author of Far From the Tree

I was reminded of this quote yesterday when I heard of—and celebrated—the defeat of the Defense of Marriage Act. I thought of all the families raising disabled children, thought of single parent families, biracial families, of committed lesbian and gay couples who have had children of their own and who have adopted children and have given them a safe and loving home and an optimistic future.

It wasn't that long ago that people with epilepsy could not legally marry, that white people couldn't marry black people. As a result, these couples did not enjoy the same benefits that married folk did—something that the people of a free and just society should never be proud of. So I, too, celebrate this additive model of love. No doubt it's what helps make the world go round.

photo by Michael Kolster