how to ruin a day

I said to Michael that Calvin's day yesterday was one of his best ever; he was calm and super happy, compliant and smiling all day. He ate, he drank, he pooped. He hugged us at every chance, held my hand in the car and giggled when we kissed and tickled him.

But epilepsy knows how to ruin a good day. So far today, Calvin has had four complex partial seizures. The extra THCA oil I gave him after the first one did not thwart the second. The Palmetto Harmony CBD oil I gave him after the second and third did not thwart the third and fourth, though I gave him tiny doses thinking—rightly—I might have to give him more. After the fourth one, I gave him another small dose of CBD cannabis oil, but that was only twenty minutes ago, so too soon to tell if it works. Next time he has a partial seizure, I'll forgo the THCA oil and instead try giving him half of his bedtime CBD dose (twice the size of the singular doses that I gave him today) and see if it stops a cluster from occurring.

So today, the first day of the last week of his very brief and abbreviated summer school session, he's home with me. The windows are shut to keep out the heat. The sky is a powdery blue laden with moisture. The phlox and lilies are blooming, the grass is greening up from so much recent rain. Calvin isn't drinking or eating and isn't what I'd call his best self. And he keeps seizing.

But tomorrow is a new day, and I'm holding fast to the knowledge that Calvin hasn't suffered any grand mals in very nearly a month, the last one being the ninth of July. And I'll muse on his yesterday, hoping there will be more good ones like it in our future.

Photo by Michael Kolster