between seizures

five days straight of one kind of seizure or another. hostile attacks on my boy's precious brain. a coup by his body's own constituents. the treacherous spasms batter and beat him, take his breath hostage, render him listless and feeble. his body, strong and resilient, does not surrender.

between seizures, i cradle my teenage baby. his former nurse texts me about an insurrection. i tune in and watch throngs lay siege to our hallowed capitol. seething crowds of insurgents pack its stage as if metalheads at a rock concert. one is crushed in the mayhem. a sea of white men and a smattering of others wrap themselves in stars and stripes, carry tactical equipment, wear camouflage and garb adorned with antisemitic and racist emblems. they raise flags emblazoned with the name of the liar who incited them into rebellion. some of them are armed. at least one cop gets beaten. they rant and curse and clench their fists. some are tattooed with slogans and motifs notably white-supremacist.

i wonder, again, if my son's convulsions are reverberations of sickening events in this nation. does he feel them drumming through me?

the insurgents scale our capitol's walls and scaffolding. an angry, chaotic mob punches out windows. some urinate and shit in the halls and offices of congress. i see a few clutching bundles of zip-tie flex cuffs. I see a noose hanging from gallows. i spot the disgraceful confederate flag flown by enslavers, racists, lynch mobs, traitors, losers. it is worthy of burning. the rioters roam and loot and smugly record their desecration on their cell phones. some literally cash in on filming their actions. they nauseatingly parade their white entitlement. they wreak havoc, plant pipe bombs and threaten with virtual indemnity.

not unlike witnessing my son seize, the world watches in horror and astonishment. the scene is grotesque and disturbing, deserving of americans' indignation.

my son has epilepsy. this is america. both have painful histories of brutality and wretchedness worthy of our scrutiny. seizures repeat until they can be arrested. unsteady despots tell lies about stolen elections. others parrot them. the indoctrinated believe the deceit. stoked-up chauvinists escalate, then seize. the body politic convulses. america is under siege.