the kids are all right

It was the first rough night in awhile. Calvin was restless for hours before waking up around 1:00 a.m., then never went back to sleep. Michael tried sleeping with him. I gave him extra THCA cannabis oil, a few sips of water and a couple of ibuprofen. Michael changed a diaper. But our efforts proved futile, so—exhausted—we finally left Calvin alone in his safety bed with his toys, lights and music while we tried to get some shut-eye despite his banging and howling in the attached room. My guess is he is ramping up to a seizure, probably tonight.

Having said that, Calvin has had only three grand mals and one focal seizure in the past thirty-one days. That's the fewest number of monthly seizures in over a year, and the fewest number of days with seizures in a month's time. And though Calvin could easily have three or four seizures in the next day or two, I'll take it over having seven to nine grand mals plus a smattering of focal seizures in a month's time (though if he does have a bunch of seizures this weekend, you can be sure I'll be grieving.)

But if he enjoys another longish stint between seizures—say, nine-plus days—I'll begin to think the new drug, Xcopri, might indeed be working to lessen his fits. Let's hope so. We kids need a break.

In the meantime, when Calvin is in school or at home with Michael, I'm managing to get out a bit for long walks in the mist, sun and wind, and on slushy, icy fields and trails. I'm having fun capturing some magnificent landscapes and skies on my cell phone and Panasonic, plus taking shots of Smellie and the ever-changing, sometimes dramatic evening skies at the fields. Layers are coming off in the milder weather, and songbirds are singing from tops of trees. Tons of smiles and waves have been coming my way, as well as visits with chatty strangers (must be the springlike weather). I'm slowly editing and adding to my memoir manuscript, which at this point is over fifty-six-thousand words despite having been largely neglected during the first two years of this damn pandemic. I'm having fun hanging out with my husband in the evenings listening to and watching Led Zeppelin and The Beatles, dancing like a fool in front of the fire, making us both laugh, watching some nice films and reading some good books.

So, yeah, in the scheme of things and for the most part, I'd say the kids are all right.