rock stars

the grocery store employee, whom i recognize but have never spoken to, waved at me and calvin from afar as he made his way toward us in the deli section.

 

he greeted us warmly, perhaps with the very slightest slur, "i see you guys every so often, but i don't really know you."

 

"that's because we are here every day!" i replied with a smile.

 

he had been on his way to grab lunch from the deli after having already punched out. i asked what he was hoping for.

 

"chicken tenders," he replied with the excitement of a child.

 

"what's the difference between chicken tenders and chicken nuggests?" i wondered.

 

"chicken tenders are way better. they're crispier!"

 

he asked for calvin's name, and seemed surprised when i told him. i asked him his in return, and he recited his full name, including middle initial. i wondered aloud what the middle initial stood for. he said, "allen," then went on to tell me that his mother named him after alan alda from the t.v. show M.A.S.H, because she wanted her son to stand out.

 

"you do stand out!" i exclaimed, adding, "grocery store employees are kind of like rock stars—everyone knows you!" and i was thinking, too, about how calvin is a rock star.

 

he agreed, relaying to me that, outside of work, strangers come up and talk to him all the time because they recognize him from the store. i jokingly asked if they ever want his autograph, and he laughed.

 

i told him my first and last name, adding that a friend of mine teasingly gave me the middle name of "sure can." then, in unison, we both said my full name, including my made-up middle name. i'm not sure he got the joke, but i had to chuckle anyway.

 

the nice man went on to tell me about some of his medical conditions and the meds he takes to treat them, at one point whispering the name of one of them. sadly, i'm familiar with all of the meds he mentioned. then he told me what would happen if he didn't take them.

 

he asked if calvin could ever have a job, adding that he may not be able to because calvin is nonverbal. i informed him that calvin has other limitations which prevent him from working.

 

the man marveled to me about his own openness and sharing, saying something to the effect, "i've never told anyone so much stuff about myself before."

 

i mentioned that, over the years, many people have told me that very same thing.

 

"maybe it's because you're so easy going," he said, which, unbeknownst to him, is one the best compliments anyone could give me considering the shit-show of a life i sometimes feel like i live, what with a man-boy as complicated, enigmatic, worrisome and difficult to take care of as calvin.

 

i beamed.

 

as we neared the meat case, the man mentioned he had been to spain and had seen a bullfight in barcelona. i told him that i had traveled to spain, too, many years ago, and had seen a bullfight in toledo. he told me his last name is german. i said calvin's last name might be german, also. he told me his age, and i told him mine.

 

"i never thought you were sixty-one," he said. i think (and hope) he meant i seem younger. haha!

 

we visited for a good ten or fifteen minutes as the man followed us along toward the dairy section, getting to know each other, and agreed finally that we have a lot in common.

 

at one point, calvin, who was being pretty patient (partly because i had my hand clasped over his on the cart) turned to the man as if to hug him.

 

"he looks like he wants to hug you. would that be okay?"

 

"i don't mind," he said, and he embraced calvin in a full-on hug as calvin wrapped his arms around the man's neck and tucked his face into the man's shoulder.

 

"i appreciate you asking me if it was okay for him to hug me," he said. but i don't mind, it doesn't bother me."

 

before we parted, the man asked me not to tell his mother that the two of them sometimes get in arguments, then saying, "but that's probably normal for most people with their moms." i nodded with a smile.

 

"no worries, i won't tell her. i don't even know what she looks like."

 

and then he put his hand out to shake mine, and we did, and it was a strong, warm, confident shake, the kind i like. and then i said, as i do to all of my favorite employees as i leave the grocer, "hope i see you tomorrow!"

 

and, no, calvin is not taller than i am!